Musings on the daily events in politics and sports as well as some local bar stops along the way in LA.

Tuesday, October 18, 2005

My journey to Armenia and Moscow day by day (entry 8 tidbits)

Time to wrap up the Armenia trip before I start off on the ridiculousness that was Moscow so I’m going to do a short you know you’re drunk in Armenia when… and it will include all tidbits of my trip that I haven’t gotten to or didn’t deserve and entire entry.

You know you're drunk in Armenia when... you just got back from panagoom and instead of going to sleep you are running behind the vans that are headed to the Howard Dean event.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… the person who was introduced as one of the top lawyers in Armenia the day before while lecturing your group is now yelling at the bouncer at Monte Cristo to let you in because you were getting into a fight with him after he doubled the price for you because you looked drunk and willing to pay. Needless to say shes good since she got us all in for free.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… you ditch the picnic in the forests around Sevan to go exploring and when you reemerge an hour later the same guy is giving what was probably his 100th toast of the evening and is yelling at everyone individually to shut up since it looks like they started to tune him out long ago and he’s not happy about it.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… there is no corkscrew to open the bottle of wine so the locals just ask for a towel and a tree… and next thing you know the wine is open and the bottle is in perfect condition.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… every single person in the group makes a toast and you’re now able to differentiate between the actual heartfelt ones and the ones where they’re trying to make you cry just to one up the guy who actually made the group cry.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… you have to give a specific toast asking for the check or else you know you’d be stuck in the restaurant all night and not have time to get some gas shots.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… you no longer consume alcohol in its liquid form and start to brag that you’ve moved on and only enjoy a good drink when its in a gaseous state that you can inhale.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… you take a bunch of AYFers from around the world to get drunk off gas shots and they start singing menk angeghz zinvor enk only to be confronted by the local patrons who actually are angeghz zinvorz and you notice the tension.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… your driver puts his arm around yours and youre starting to think he’s gay only to then be asked if you want to go to a whore house tonight and then he explains something about dak choor and bagh choor and a spa (hot water and cold water) that you don’t fully understand but aren’t sure you really want to know.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… the driver then disappointed you didn’t want to go to the whore house ends up just picking up a prostitute off the street while still on duty driving you to your destination.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… the taxi driver taking you to the airport is talking about the good years during the Brezhnev era and is now trying to convert you to Jehovas witness.

You know you’re drunk in Armenia when… you’re on a plane to Moscow and you’re actually wishing you just skipped Moscow to stay in Arstakh for another 4 days.


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